Let's get up to speed

Up until now my life has been a little crazy. I'm an only child to an alcoholic mother and an angry father. I started cutting when I was in the sixth grade to cope with being made fun of for being different. For not being pretty. I lost my virginity to a man I would later marry. Currently we are separated. I ended up moving back in with my broken family because I had nowhere to go after I left him. I still cut on occasion. I have a great job, love most of my coworkers and I've sort of been seeing one of them which coincidentally is married. Yes, it bothers the fuck out of me... But I guess not enough for me to say no. I actually am starting to fall for him... Yes, I'm aware I'm only setting myself up to get hurt but right now, life is decent. As jacked up as it is.